Monday, January 25, 2010

The Not So Secret Love Life Of A Seven Year Old

There is some serious romance taking place in my daughter's life and... I'm invited. Her suitor has "loved her since Kindergarten", keeps momentos of her on his bedroom wall and was agonized with anxiety while awaiting her RSVP to his 8th birthday. They haven't kissed yet (phew!), but her best friend has kissed him (what the?). She nonchalantly details all of this at the dinner table while I try my best to appear unrattled, consciously keeping a steady chewing tempo. Her Dad, on the other hand, can't muster a poker face and has to leave. You see, it's a goal of mine to keep the taboo topics comfortable so that she'll remember me as a resource when the sh#t really hits the fan in high school. So, straining for casual, I listen on while grinding a steak knife into my faux Kolbassa sausage. (Don't dig too deep for symbolism here.) Rumour has it, suitor-boy has big plans for her and with the consult of a male relative is "Shopping For A Special Gift". It's no secret that my girl and this boy are discussing the prospect of marriage and as part of their vision for the future they plan on keeping one of their (male) friends around as their maid (!?). My God! Will we find out more on next week's episode of "Cribs"??


  1. Hope that special gift is a birthday present. How does fake Kolbassa work, anyway?

  2. You didn't mention that there's a problem with differing spiritual beliefs. He believes in God. She believes in Santa. This marriage might not work.

  3. You are absolutely right about their conflicting beliefs! (Such insights you have, 'Anonymous'.) Although this may just create enough friction to keep the spark alive... Sigh.

  4. I think if you pull this guy aside and explain how much that maid is going to cost, he may slow down a bit and think career first. If that doesn't work I can have "War Turkey" say a few words. Oh, and when grind - knife and Kolbassa get together; most males will need to leave the room to regroup.


Spock Quote of the Day

DreamHost review