VE HAF A SCHEDULE! - A Response to "TV Time"

Did y'all get to read Saf's post with the results of our TV Time poll? Here's the thing. My kid is a junkie. Some people have addictive personalities and some don't. Then there are also those of us that can go months blissfully without a glass of wine but won't sleep a wink knowing they're in a house that's void of caffeine. (I like to comfort myself with this. Maybe television is the only addiction our daughter will ever wrestle? Stupid fingers crossed.) TV changes my daughter the way booze can make your favourite person transform into a two-headed monster. Gradually her colour goes, her brow furrows, she barks for snacks like Cruella Deville and can no longer support her own body weight - even when she's trying with all four limbs. It seemed cruel not to give her a TV schedule. We figured with firmly established parameters, TV time wouldn't have quite the same charge and would keep us out of that place of constant negotiation. How about TV every other day? Sounded like a reasonable plan at first, but it turned out each day became defined by whether or not she'd be plugged in. On her non-TV days it was like she was living for the next day knowing she'd finally get her fix. The obsession factor was going nowhere. Thankfully, she was young enough at the time that we got away with revamping the system without her realizing she was being duped. We decided to do something that may seem a little radical to some - TV only on the weekends. You may argue that rationing television exposure is only going to make kids want it more. And you may be right. For Saf and I, our childhood television was carefully rationed. We even had periods of not owning one. How did this affect us? Well... both Saf and I are completely, ridiculously, rattled by watching onscreen violence. And when I say violence, I mean yer basic fist fight. We've got it so bad that unless we're willing to risk a lame-ass sleep of nightmares, us Henderson sisters are almost completely limited to Jennifer Aniston and Will Ferrell movies. My theory is Saf and I weren't appropriately desensitized. We're still working on the cultural catch up. (Next we'll have to post about how being raised in a tee-pee has affected our table manners...) When I was finally free to make my own decisions about TV, I was terrified that I'd have no self control. I was certain I'd give myself over to any talk show/game show/soap opera out there, never leave the couch and inevitably lose grip on life altogether. I begged room-mates to keep our communal house TV free and then eventually losing that battle, rallied to at least pass on cable. Once faced with All Access Exposure, I actually kinda surprised myself with the ability to keep a grip. Does this mean I'm someone who chooses to watch only quality television? Are you kidding?? I couldn't stand to hear about Bret Michaels' Celebrity Apprentice Win second hand! So yes, Ve Haf A Schedule. But don't get me wrong. Rules are meant to be broken, after all. These days it's not uncommon for us to have a hockey game going during the week or to watch the occasional nature program over dinner. The beautiful thing is that our little junkie's so freakin' hungry for the boob-tube that she's just as mesmerized by the lost puck and flying squirrels as we are!